In this entry, I will tackle any issue that gets a fair share of air time, but not from an angle that you are used to.

We all have heard of cases of abuse in terms of husbands against wives, boyfriends against girlfriends etc (domestic/dating violence). This form of abuse is by far the most prevalent, so it only makes sense that it gets the most attention. But there is a fairly small minority, yet none the less an existent minority, which is MALE victims of abuse.

Female vs Male violence is rare, for relatively obvious reasons. Men are, for the most part, stronger than women, so, therefore, are more often than not the aggressors in a violent situation. For this reason, men are responsible for sexually assaulting women far more than they are for men.

But no matter how rare, sexual assault IS sexual assault. But male victims are almost never treated equally (or for that matter, taken as seriously) as female victims.

For one, a male caught in an abusive relationship with a female, may keep quiet, due to the fear of the authorities (and people in general), not taking them seriously, and/or considering them weak. And when it comes to female vs male victims of sexual assault, males may be inclined to stay quiet, because the whole thing may be thought of as a joke, something funny.

The moral of the post is, though male vs female abuse may make up the MAJORITY of the cases, do not assume that only males are capable of such crimes as domestic violence or sexual assault. Male victims of sexual assault are NOT a joke, and male victims of domestic violence are NOT pathetic, or weak.

If we are to ever hope to help victims of violence, we must not exclude some, based only on their gender.

3 thoughts on “Abuse

  1. I agree completely. I knew a girl who was dating one of my close friends (at the time), and she would constantly hit and threaten him (she often used the threat of “my brother’s will beat you up if you don’t rah rah”) and he held his tongue, and kept from retaliating. He never thought he was weak for dealing with it, if anything he commended his own strength in not reacting, the downside being, he never considered the situation serious, and considered it cowardly to report it to anyone – ties in with the thought of the male being seen as “weak”, I guess. Though, because of that he ended up being stuck in this relationship for some time before he decided to officially end it with her.

    I don’t think this aspect of abuse gets talked about enough, sadly.


    1. Unfortunately, not hearing about it is one thing. But ive seen this kind of abuse just flat out ignored, or dismissed, sometimes by the very women that are defenders of women victims. I even seen a facebook friend lose his account, I suspect, because of someone of that attitude. Thoughtlessly assuming he was “downplaying” abuse to women, when he just dared to mention the truth, it can go both ways.

      Ive never been physically abused by a women, but ive been drawn down one heck of an emotionally charged journey because of one (described in a previous entry). And though that was probably a decade ago, I still have yet to get over it.

      When it comes to the definition of abuse, for most, the obvious physical aspects come to mind. But they often forget the mental/emotional aspects. Though men are dominant in physical abuse (for obvious reasons), unfortunately, not so much for mental/emotional.

      But thats just my thoughts.


      1. I agree, there is too much stigma towards the idea that a man can be hurt just as a woman can be, and it shouldn’t brand him as being weak, though it does. I think that stigma comes from dominant males wanting to keep up the macho man stereotype, though.

        And yes, I cannot stand blatant feminists who will protest for women’s rights and then turn around and say that men don’t deserve the same when it comes to spousal abuse, whether physical or mental – aren’t they just supporting the idea that men are dominant, I thought they are supposed to be on the stand point of equality, and that men and women are on equal playing fields… You can’t have your cake and eat it too, ladies. And I am a female too, not being anti-feminist, just acknowledging that women aren’t the only people who go through abuse, though some like to think that’s the case.

        Women tend to do more emotional and mental scarring then on the physical aspect, unless they’re a little loopy like the girl I knew. And men tend to do more so of the physical. A stereotype, but abuse nonetheless.

        Sorry to hear about your previous relationship, I hope the hurt you experienced then won’t haunt you as much in the future.

        All the best!


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