Yesterday I was sent a blog entry written by a feminist from a friend of mine that is a feminist. Though it is a word that is weighed down with more baggage than a fully loaded A380, the person I received it from is far from the average radical social media moron. Though I was surprised that their higher education had them pick up feminism (as if its a disease), they make a good case.
Which is why I do not really jump onto ANY gender equality bandwagon. Both sides make good arguments. But both sides also have baggage. So I remain hands off.
In any case, the article sent last night annoyed me. In fact ill link it below.
The post does make some good illustrations. It is not unreasonable to expect NOT be visually undressed by male customers while doing your job. It is not unreasonable to expect NOT to be harassed or called names after either turning down a relationship offer or not continuing a passive conversation. It is NOT unreasonable to expect managers/supervisors to NOT grab your ass or hold your earned payment hostage until after physical contact.
Indeed, I do not know what it is like to live the everyday women’s experience. The closest I can come is my high school dating disaster, and stupid Christians at work pulling the “Say a word for me!” routine whilst trying to work on the floor.
I do not disregard that women often put up with a lot of bullshit from men that in any other situation, would constitute harassment. And I don’t doubt that men can at times be thoughtless in actions and/or words. Males harassing women should be reported and hopefully dealt with (educated!) in a constructive manor. And there is no harm in attempting to educate other (non-harassing) men into being less thoughtless.
However, all this about feelings (you hurt my feelings!) . . . enough.
In high school and on into university and post secondary, there is a lot of space for this. Safe Spaces to protect this group or that from the harsh reality of, opposition and reality. Many making use of these safe spaces are ironically being sexist and/or racist. Not to mention the whole turning back the clock aspect (What do you think Rosa Parks and other civil rights pioneer’s would think of female only subway cars, or other minority safe spaces?).
In life, there are lines that one is completely reasonable for expecting others not to cross. And all involved should do far more to ensure that this does not happen.
More camera’s on public transit vehicle’s of all types (though one hears little about harassment on planes, do flight attendants and/or passenger’s get harassed more just due to the long duration of proximity to people?). More constructive laws to combat workplace harassment (based on education, not just punitive action. Punitive only laws are to easily abused. And yes, it DOES happen, so don’t even try and lie about that truth).
While prevention is important, it is also important to just, let some things slide.
The world can be a hostile place. Reality is not always fair or even rational. Though you may be able to shelter in your safe space for awhile, it will eventually be unavailable. And when that happens, reality will not be caring or compromising due to your mere feelings. I may be cynical from working in the customer service industry for a decade, but what I can say is, your depression, bad day, logic . . . is irrelevant. Learning to deescalate is a fact of life.
All of this evolved nonsense of the positive thinking movement is not helping anyone. Its akin to the many choosing to pretend climate change does not exist.
Go ahead, live your own alternate dream reality. But don’t think it will protect you from reality. Unless banning a term can also keep water from covering the majority of a landmass.